How the Upper-Middle Class Uses Therapyspeak to Heal (and Injure)

Upper Middle’s “Therapyspeak Survey” looked at the ways in which members of the Oat Milk Elite use and react to clinical language in non-clinical situations. Words like “self-care,” “trauma,” “boundaries,” and “gaslighting’ may be pervasive in open-plan offices and well-appointed suburban homes, but that doesn’t mean they’re embraced. To the contrary, our data suggests therapyspeak bothers people – specifically high-earning men and people whose parents went to therapy.

Inside a clinical setting, these words are tools. Outside, they are often perceived as weapons.

MOSTLY TALK (CONTEXT)

Engaging in therapyspeak does not require going to therapy¹, but experiences with therapy do color reactions to that kind of language. Though 78% of survey respondents had attended therapy – a number likely skewed by the topic – only 41% remained in treatment. Just over half (56.6%) described therapy as helpful, fewer (15.7%) as life changing, and 12.1% as disappointing or unhelpful, most often citing a lack of connection (45%) or practical advice (30%).

Talk therapy was dominant (85%), followed by family (39.8%) and psychodynamic (13.9%). Many also reported using medication (39.2%) or professional coaching (22.3%) for mental health support.

SELF-REPORTED REASONS FOR GOING TO THERAPY

SPEAKING FEELS TO POWER

Therapy participation and satisfaction both rose with income. Among those earning under $125,000, 65% had been in therapy; among those earning over $250,000, 94% had. High-earners were twice as likely to remain in therapy even though they were the least likely (20%) to find it life changing – suggesting they use it as maintenance rather than intervention. Depression (58%) and relationship strain (52%) dominated among lower-income respondents; stress (55%) among middle-income; burnout (41%) among high-earners. These differences deeply informed feelings about therapyspeak.

INCOME v. THERAPY STATUS and WEALTH v. THERAPY STATUS

Use of therapyspeak closely tracked income and profession. The suits (strategists and finance/ops types) were three times more likely to say they “never” used it (24.2%) than creative types (7.1%) and seven times less likely to say they used it “frequently.” Service and care professionals (doctors and client-facing professionals) were also more likely to use it frequently (11.1%). In other words, therapyspeak was common among middle-income professional communicators – a lingua franca for managing stress and expectations.

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