Mandatory Indulgences → Spicy Ginger → Loyalty Programmed

Hey Neighbor. True story. Two women waiting outside a daycare in Berkeley, California. One is complaining that her meditation studio has transitioned to a donation-based model. “I don’t know what to donate,” she says. “It’s like they’re playing chicken with my conscience.” The second woman smiles.

“At least you have time to think about it.”

➺ The results of of our big survey on self-indulge are below. Thanks to the 327 of you that provide smart and bizarre recommendations coupled with weirdly threatening justifications. Calm down y’all! It’s your money. Do what you gotta do.

➺ Cheers to MJ (not that one I don’t think) for the anecdote above. If you’ve got one of your own come at us. We love going through submissions.

➺ Don’t think of it as taking a GLP1. Think of it as a Gut Renovation.

Upper Middle’s “Dinner Playlist” Survey is our attempt to find out what people want to listen while pretending their friends know how to cook. Results and dope recs will be shared with survey participants and, as always, with members.

TASTE ❧ Commedia dell’farte

“Even when late night is funny, it’s a terrible way to learn how to be funny. The format suggests comedy consists of bits. It doesn’t. And British standup James Acaster, who promoted his special this week by accusing Seth Meyers of plagiarism and calling John Oliver a professional failure, seems intent on proving it.

In an England, humor follows the same counterintuitive principle as middle school math: negative times negative equals positive. Nothing makes an Englishman happier than piss taking becoming piss taking turns. Brits are so serious about those kinds of watersport they have professional leagues in the form of QI and Big Fat Quiz of the Year^[1]. Acaster has become the Ohtani of the panel show circuit by taking indefensible positions and pointlessly antagonizing hosts.

What Acaster knows is that, by taking the piss like a racehorse, he can transform any set (no matter how well lit) into the sort of Midlands pub where he used to get slagged off by pensioners as toothless as a Jay Leno monologue. The name of his new special? Hecklers Welcome. Makes sense. It’s a communal project. So is laughter..

➺ Nineties Spielberg is peak menswear. ➺ Fine water is the slipperiest slope I’ve ever seen. ➺ Everyone is dressing like their kids (because kids clothing got good). ➺ Don’t buy the Trader Joe’s tote. If you want a thing, but the real thing. ➺ "What if we do a Thomas Kinkade retrospective?”

MONEY ❧ If I Stay it Will Be Double

For the first time in over a decade, job stayers are seeing stronger wage growth than job switchers.  In 2022, switchers saw 8.5% year-over-year growth and stayers saw 5.9%. According to the Atlanta Fed, the numbers have flipped. Tech wages are up 6.2% in the wake of massive industry layoffs. Job stayers seems to have won Survivor. 

But it’s not all bikinis and tiki torches: Stayers take on hidden risks. Counterintuitive as it may be, job hopping defrays career risk by building new skillsets^[2] and relationships. Job staying, which builds institutional knowledge and solidifies extent relationships, can make loyal employees professionally illiquid.

The dynamic mirrors the public markets. Those who didn’t sell pre- or post-tariffs have been rewarded, but they’ve also accrued risk by keeping money in a market “priced for perfection.” The VIX hit 53 in April and is now creeping back up (not the worst thing Netanyahu has done). It’s at 22 now. Investors feel good. Long-term employees feel good. Check back soon. 

➺ The technofeudalists are building their keeps. ➺ Speaking of which: Four Prime Days is three Prime Days too many. ➺ Commuting is about to get even less fun. ➺ Comparison selling is the new comparison shopping.

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